


regrets wash over me

by angryfrenchboy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, Kinda, M/M, TY TY, around season 4 episode 8, beware please, levi and eren are in a seret relashionship, spoilers ahead if you havent reached that part yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angryfrenchboy/pseuds/angryfrenchboy
Summary: as they finish business in Marley, Eren gets picked up and comes back to Paradis.Levi doesn't know what to do with his feelings anymore
Relationships: Levi & Eren Yeager, Levi/Eren Yeager
Kudos: 21





	regrets wash over me

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy, so the last episode kind of made me write an ereri fic (also because i fell down the ereri rabbit hole in 2017/18 but managed to escape.. before i fell down again in 2021. sigh)  
> it's just a quick story i wrote in one sitting, nothing too fancy and i hope nothing too angsty for you all!  
> see you at the end of the fic for moooore

Armin reached his hand out towards Eren and Mikasa, helping them back into the airship. 

They exchanged no words, they didn’t need to.

Armin just destroyed the Marlean navy, while Mikasa assisted Eren during his fight with the Warhammer and the Jaw Titan. As she flew in the air, she saw all the damage and all the killing, sorrow on her face when realizing what her brother had done.

The exact same thing Reiner and Berthold did nine years ago in Shiganshina.

As soon as Eren got all his body inside the airship, his face was met with Levi’s foot, making him fly to the back of the aircraft. Two soldiers on each side of the Captain pointed their weapons at him as he adjusted himself against the wall. 

“You’re under arrest, piece of shit. You will have some explaining to do when we get back to Paradis. Gosh, I missed beating you up with my boot.”

Eren kept his head low, upset to be welcomed with those words from the one person he was the most excited to see again. He knew he’d react like that, but it still hurts a bit.

“I already said everything I had to say in the letter, Captain.”

Levi doesn’t reply and just makes a gesture with his hand, silently telling the soldiers to attach his hands with a rope. 

————

Eren was now sitting in the small prison underground. Someone brought dinner to him, but he didn’t feel like eating anything. He just wants to speak to him. 

“Can you please call Captain Levi ?” he asks the soldier who brought the food.

The latter avoids making eye contact with him, and leaves without a word as soon as he sets the food on the floor. 

Eren sighs and looks at his reflection in the mirror. He knew Levi would be furious with his actions, but he can’t help thinking he did the right thing. For him, for Mikasa and Armin, for everybody here at Paradis. They retrieved Zeke smoothly and now he could start his plan properly. He only has four years left to live, he wants to make sure they’re never facing any kind of danger anymore.

Even if it means he will hate him for the rest of his life. 

He ignores the tear rolling down his face as he puts his long hair into a bun.

————

Eren was sitting on the floor, showing his back to the hallway. He heard someone coming but did not bother to turn around. It was most likely someone coming to pick up his plate. 

“Tss, you didn’t even touch your food. Such a waste.”

As soon as he heard the deep voice, he jumped to his feet and turned around, voluntarily avoiding the condescending tone in his voice and the frown on his face. He walks to the metal bars separating from him from his beloved, so happy to see him. 

Levi did not feel the same way. 

It’s almost as if he was disgusted. More with the actions than the person, but he still felt a bittersweet taste at the back of his mouth every time he saw Eren since they came back from Marley.

“Levi, you came—“

“Don’t fucking call me that, brat.”

Eren visibly calms down at the reply, but does not lighten his grip on the bars.

“I don’t understand why you did that. I read the report, Mikasa said you jumped into the crowd for no reason after swallowing Tyber. Was it necessary for you to increase the death toll?”

“They were soldiers. A threat to Eldians and Paradis. I had to get rid of as many people as I could.”

“It doesn’t matter! You still killed dozens of civilians but doing that, and made Armin do the same. Now he thinks he’s got fucking blood on his hands, when all of it is on yours.”

Eren doesn’t reply. He can’t bring those lives back anyway, so it doesn’t matter what he says. 

“What are you planning to do, Eren? What’s that grand plan of yours that will keep the rest of the world in check, huh? Can’t even share it with us?”

A deafening silence imposes itself.

“Can’t even share it with me?”

It stings, the pain in his voice. Ever since Eren joined the Survey Corps, Levi and him became close. Too close for a regular relationship between two military men. Joining the other in his room at night, kissing each other when no one was looking. Sometimes finding comfort in each other, with Levi crying on his shoulder while Eren ran his hands through his hair as they silently laid in a bed.

As much as Eren talked to his love about his hopes and fears, he never told him he’d disappear once they set foot in Marley and send letters their way announcing he was going to wreck havoc in Liberio a few weeks later. 

“I cannot tell you what I plan to do. You’d try to stop me.”

“It’s that bad, huh? I have always protected you, be it from titans, from the military police, or from anyone else. I have never done anything but protect you. What makes you think I’ll stop today? Tell me.”

Eren sighs, and looks into his blue eyes. Bluer than the ocean he was so excited to see. If he knew what it looked like, he wouldn’t have cared to go, he’d rather look into Levi’s eyes. 

“Will you protect me during trial, then?” He replies, ignoring the question Levi asked him

Levi inhales sharply. He wasn’t expecting this question. Protecting Eren at all cost was a silent vow he made when he first saw him test his Titan powers with Hange’s experiments. Saying it out loud like he just did makes him feel naked, vulnerable. 

“I don’t know who I'm supposed to protect this time, Eren. A while ago, I would have destroyed the entire world for you. Today, I’m not so sure anymore, because it doesn’t feel like you trust me like you used to. You build this stupid wall between us again and I don’t know how to climb it. Or maybe I’m just too tired to climb it this time.”

He takes a step back, and Eren reaches for him, passing his hand through a hole between the bars, trying to catch him, in vain. 

“Wait!”

Levi doesn’t bother turning back to him, he just continues walking towards the exit.

“I’m sorry Levi. I hope you can forgive me someday.”

He has no idea if he heard him. He says the last sentence more to himself than to him anyway. 

————

Levi wakes up in a grumpy mood the next day.

He’s always grumpy in the morning, but this morning was worse.

He checks his eyes in the mirror, they’re thankfully not as puffy as he thought they would be after crying himself to sleep.

When making his way to the dining hall where everyone was having breakfast, he bumps into Hange, who looks uneasy.

They both take a tray from the pile before choosing beverages and bread with butter. Coffee for Hange, tea for Levi.

“What is it?” He grumbled when he saw she kept staring at him like he was a titan she was going to try experiments on. 

“Are you okay, Levi?” She was worried about him. Not only did he look terrible, but it seemed like he slept even less than usual. 

“As okay as it gets. Why the question?” It’s a stupid question. Everyone knows how strained the Captain has been for the past few months. Days before they went to get him, he was even more irritable than usual.

Only Hange knew about their relationship. She found out when she saw Levi smile at Eren when he made a face after his feet touched a seaweed before seeing it when they went to the ocean.

“You went to see him yesterday. I expected you to stay longer. And I also didn’t expect you to sob until you fell asleep.”

“Are you spying on me, Four-eyes?” 

“Ohhh, I wouldn’t call that spying. More so, looking after you in my own way. Are you going to pay him another visit tonight?”

“I said everything I had to say to him last night, I’ll see him in court in three days.”

It’s not true, he knows there is so much more he wants to say to him. But he cannot bear seeing him caged up like that.

They placed their tray on the table. As they were about to start their breakfast, someone bursted into the dining hall, panting hard, horrified. As if titans had surrounded the building.

“Eren Jaeger has escaped his cell!”

Before Levi even registered the words in his head, he sees Armin, Mikasa and Connie run towards the door, pushing the man out of their way, closely followed by Hange.

————

Levi makes his way towards the end of the humid and gruesome hallway, the one leading to Eren’s tiny cell, where he is supposed to be. The one he didn’t want to see again because it hurt too much to see him inside. If he had the keys, he would have opened the cell to embrace him again after so many months, and maybe worse— maybe he would have brought him to his quarters until trial if he was crazy enough.

But as he looked into the cell, no one was here. Seeing it now, it is not tiny anymore, it’s just that Eren deserved a bigger cell.

“He used the Warhammer’s power to support the wall while he escaped before breaching the wall again.” said Armin upon seeing him.

“Yeah, breaching walls is his specialty, tss.” snickered Connie in the back.

Mikasa looked devastated. She just reunited with her brother and here he was, fleeing again.

Hange stood next to Levi, and she dared turn to peek at his face. She had never seen him this angry, he looked like he was going to burst at any minute. His knuckles turned white from how hard he was trying to control himself. 

_ I hope you can forgive me someday, he dared say. _

How many times did he have to sacrifice his friends and comrades to rescue him? Him, who was considered humanity’s hope? How many comrades did he see in the hands of titans if it meant Eren could come home safely?

He didn’t even know if he was enraged with sadness or anger, but either way, he knew wouldn’t be so kind the next time he meets Eren.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, you made it to the end, thank you!  
> feel free to leave a kudo and a comment on your thoughts :)  
> see ya!


End file.
